How You Can Prepare for A Shart Attack

by EL DUDERINO December 03, 2018

Sharting is an embarrassing fact of life. Not only does everybody poop — everybody sharts. Even the rich and famous.

Kevin Hart sharted.

Chris Brown sharted on stage. So did lovable ginger elf Ed Sheeran.

YouTube star Tyler Oakley sharts.

Queen of the Kardashians Kris Jenner tweets when she sharts.

WWE Wrester Darren Young sharted in the ring during a match.

Al Roker sharted himself in the White House!

 

 

There are two kinds of people, those who have sharted and those who lie about it. Sharts begin with an innocent urge to fart. Maybe you destroyed a burrito for lunch or had a few too many beers the night before.

You don't feel like you have to take a dump, so you make sure the coast is clear and let it go. Immediately, you know what you've done. First, there's the wetness in your drawers, and then the smell. Dear god, that smell.

 

 

Most people think sharts are caused by the runs, but it's usually because you didn't do a good enough job of evacuating during your previous bowel movement.

In other words, if you're holding on to too much poop, you increase the odds that some will shoot out when you fart.

Another cause of sharting is explosive farts. Most civilized people try to pass gas surreptitiously, without detection. By slowly expelling gas passively, you reduce your chance of soiling yourself at work.

Those who announce their farts forcefully and with authority increase their odds of sharting because their sphincter relaxes, allowing gas to shoot out faster and louder.

If you're a frequent sharter you should increase the fiber in your diet. Fiber helps build proper poops and can help reduce any leftovers in your system.

Another possibility is that you're lactose intolerant. If you're sharting a lot, think about what you ate or drank recently. If the answer is always dairy, cut down on it to see if that's the culprit.

But no matter what preventative measures you take, a shart attack can still sneak up on you. Remember, everyone sharts — even Al Roker.

Sharts are natural predators, looking for the most inopportune time to strike and cause maximum shame.

For these inevitable attacks, the best way to fight back is with DUDE Wipes Singles. DUDE Wipes Singles will save your butt, your dignity, and maybe even your drawers. Don't be another victim, fight back against shart attacks with DUDE Wipes.