As Psychology Today points out, “Researchers have found that we make decisions about people within seconds to minutes of first seeing them. We decide very quickly whether a person possesses many of the traits we feel are important, such as likeability and competence.”
A girl that’s worth it deserves your best effort, so study up and you won’t strike out. An incompetent idiot isn’t what she wants to bring home to mama. And being well-liked is a big deal, especially if she’s going to introduce you to her friends.
GET TO KNOW HER
Unless you consider “asking out” to be a swipe on a dating app, you need to step up your game. Let’s assume this woman is someone you’ve seen around town, in your office elevator, or a friend of a friend. Maybe she’s your favorite barista at Starbucks or she’s always waiting for the same bus as you are in the morning. She’s familiar, but you don’t have many facts.
Before you jump in to ask her on a date out of nowhere and risk looking like a jackass, find out some tidbits about this babe so you have a reason to get to the next step. You want her to feel like a queen when you make your ask.
Approach this gal with grace and good vibes. Ask her something simple and don’t come on too strong. “Hey, how’s it going?” works fine, and from there, bring up something that’s relevant to your location, what’s been going on in the news (nothing political, polarizing, or perverted), or about what she’s holding, reading, wearing, etc. Keep it casual and PG-rated. Be funny or flirt (a little) if that’s something you’re good at, otherwise, just be yourself and have something to say when she accepts your conversation starter.
The next time you see her, she’ll be more inclined to engage again, and you can build from your last chit-chat. Impress her by remembering something specific she said. Girls love it when they know you’re really listening.
THE ART OF ASKING
Once you’ve established a decent amount of easygoing “I’m not a serial killer” vibe, you can pump yourself up to ask her out. Prep yourself that morning by taking a shower, put on something nicer than what you’d normally wear (or at least without stains and wrinkles), and spritz on a little (repeat...a little) cologne. Also, banish bad breath and B.O.