Guys, We Need to Talk About Body Powder for our Privates
Wake up, shit, shower, shave, brush teeth, repeat.
For millions of men around the world, that’s the standard morning routine. And while it meets the minimum requirement for being a civilized human, this routine neglects something vital to your manhood—actually, two things.
Since the dawn of the 20th century, dusting the family jewels with body powder has been a refined ritual for men who refuse to let their boys suffer in a swamp of crotch sweat. Maybe your granddad even powdered his balls of steel before storming the beaches of Normandy.
Nowadays, body powder is having a renaissance, and for good reason. Humidity below the belt isn’t just uncomfortable; it’s a precursor for jock itch, chafing, mysterious red rashes, and unspeakable stenches.
But fear not: a daily poof of body powder will dry up that excess moisture so your boys can stay breezy all day long.
What is Body Powder?
Body powder (also known as dusting powder) is a deodorant in powder form that absorbs sweat and masks body odor. Body powders made their debut in ancient Egypt, where people crushed up talc (a clay mineral) and mixed it with herbs like arrowroot to stop sweat and reduce chafing—not a bad idea when temps climb as high as 122 degrees in the summer.
Fast forward a few thousand years, and scientists combined the talc powder with cornstarch to make baby powder. Once everyone realized baby powder prevented diaper rashes, companies started marketing adult body powder to keep their crotches cool and comfortable. Most importantly, grown men no longer had to smell like lavender.
By the early 1900s, a daily dose of body powder was an essential part of a sophisticated skincare routine.
It’s Not Just For Your Nuts
Your third pit isn’t the only area of your body that can benefit from the absorbent, stank-crushing benefits of body powder.
Take your feet, for example. After a full day of bacteria and sweat festering under your socks, your feet cook up a ripe stench that’s reminiscent of expired cheese wrapped in a used diaper. A quick sprinkle of foot powder (or standard body powder) will keep your feet fresh and reduce friction that causes blisters.
You can also dust your underarms if you’re anticipating an extra sweaty day. Simply pat your pits after applying deodorant. Wherever you powder up, just make sure your body powder is talc-free; otherwise, it will clump up when it comes in contact with any moisturizers or lotions.
What About Those Talcum Powder Cancer Commercials?
If you’re up at 3 a.m. watching TV, there’s a great chance you’ll see one of those comically boring commercials about mesothelioma caused by talcum powder. As you know, if you or a loved one were exposed, you may be entitled to financial compensation.
For the uninitiated, talcum powder is a hardcore antiperspirant that gained popularity with Gold Bond’s medicated body powder. However, things got dicey once the American Cancer Association pointed out that talc is naturally contaminated by asbestos: a substance known to cause cancer if inhaled or ingested.
While most mesothelioma cases stemmed from inhaling industrial talc, the American Cancer Society concedes that they can’t rule out the possibility of household talcum powder causing mesothelioma, even if the talc is purified.
We’re no doctors, but we’d instead not roll the dice with cancer—opt for a talc-free formula.
The Proper Way to Powder
We were tired of getting ripped off with expensive body powder with ingredient labels longer than War and Peace. So we went to the lab and developed a natural body powder with fresh ingredients for fresh balls.
DUDE talc-free body powder contains ingredients like corn starch, aloe, menthol, and chamomile—all designed to soothe sensitive skin and save you from your stench. Our natural formula has no talc, no aluminum, and no parabens. Isn't it time your boys got their natural deodorant?
DUDE Body Powder comes in three scents: Menthol Chill, Tropic Breeze, and Fragrance-Free. The best time to powder up is after a shower. Once you’re dried off, sprinkle your sack and feel the game-changing difference. Don't let your balls down; they’re counting on you.